"Here at the Phone Company we handle eighty-four billion calls a
year. Serving everyone from presidents and kings to the scum of the earth.

We realize that every so often you can't get an operator, for no apparent
reason your phone goes out of order [plucks plug out of switchboard], or
perhaps you get charged for a call you didn't make. We don't care. Watch
this -- [hits buttons maniacally] just lost Peoria!

You see, this phone system consists of a multibillion-dollar matrix of
space-age technology that is so sophisticated, even we can't handle it.
But that's your problem, isn't it? Next time you complain about your phone
service, why don't you try using two Dixie cups with a string??

We don't care. We don't have to. We're the Phone Company."

Lily (Ernestine) Tomlin
on Saturday Night Live